“You gotta love irony!” – Mark J
One of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite teachers, Mark Januszewski, and one that can be applied to most situations in life when we find ourselves in a place we neither wanted to be nor could even fathom ending up.
“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” – Joseph Campbell
A great reminder of how often we keep ourselves from getting what we really want because we are to afraid to loose what we have!
“3. Difficulties, inharmonies, and obstacles, indicate that we are either refusing to give out what we no longer need, or refusing to accept what we require.
4. Growth is attained through an exchange of the old for the new, of the good for the better; it is a conditional or reciprocal action, for each of us is a complete thought entity and this completeness makes it possible for us to receive only as we give.
5. We cannot obtain what we lack if we tenaciously cling to what we have. We are able to consciously control our conditions as we come to sense the purpose of what we attract, and are able to extract from each experience only what we require for our further growth. Our ability to do this determines the degree of harmony or happiness we attain.”
Charles Haanel, “The Master Key System”, Part XV
Encouraging words on how to handle potentially devastating losses and find meaning in past uncomfortable experiences we didn´t see coming and could not avoid.
If You´ve been following this blog for some time You know that I quite recently moved back to Sweden from Cyprus mostly for the reason to spend time with my wife who`s been studying in Stockholm since September.
It turned out that she discovered the need within herself to be alone and only with herself, by herself and for herself. Something that obviously didn´t include me being around.
As much as I respect her needs and decisions I must admit these news shocked me on a very deep level, turning life as I knew it upside down and totally changed the future I had planned and expected for me and us.
Separation after a pretty long and very loving relationship is never easy and I´m immensely grateful that we are staying close friends and want the best for each other.
Even through this at times extremely painful process I always felt a calmness deep down that I cannot explain in any other way than a personal centeredness I didn´t possess just a short year ago.
Knowing the Law of Growth I could chose to focus on this calmness and my belief in the benevolent nature of the universe, keep all the good memories and be grateful for the most fun time of my life so far. The opposite reaction of resentment, hurt and regret was just not an alternative and soon my natural curiosity started asking how this new situation in my life would unfold.
It´s been so interesting to observe my own reactions and behaviors being so different from what they would have been if this had happened before the MKE. Not that I haven´t freaked out and been carried away by grief and hurt at times or never handled my feelings in a far from optimal way. I certainly did both…
The important difference has been my ability to observe and to adjust when I started acting in ways that did not support what I want for my life and the realization that though I´m now divorced from a woman I love (and loved being married to) every other aspect of my life is still just as fantastic as before!
I cannot avoid being overtaken by grief and sadness at times yet I can still chose happiness and gratefulness for our time together and focus on visualizing the best for both of us in the future.
Knowing that what happened leeds to as many doors opening as have been closed makes this the most important question right now:
What do I want? Now, in this new situation? With new possibilities opening up?
What do I really want now?
That question is still worth quite a few sits and there´s no point in trying to force an answer, rather do I concentrate on moving with what I do know that I want and what I can control.
Being the observer when things seem tough and accept life´s rollercoaster and surprises as the normal trials and tribulations on ones hero´s journey just make it so much easier to deal with them at the same time increasing the enjoyment of all the good parts of life.
Check out this talk on the hero´s journey by Pat Soloman, the director of the documentary “Finding Joe”:
Please leave a comment below and tell me Your thoughts and thanks for sharing the post with friends and loved ones!
Mahalo, I appreciate You!